WHY I CHOSE THE INSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL SOCIAL WORK
Have you ever put together a puzzle?
Sometimes you see a gap in the puzzle, and you think you have found a piece to fit the space. You “eyeball” it. Yes, it is a fit. But when you insert the piece in the bare area, the shape does not coincide with the pieces around it. It's a little bit off, it does not fit. You are disappointed. Your search then continues for a small section that does correspond with the almost completed puzzle.
I had a similar experience. Not with puzzles. But with putting together goals and dreams. I have always had a goal of earning a Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) degree. When I was in the process of completing my Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, I worked with my advisor to prepare me for my application to a nearby Ph.D. program. I worked diligently at this. I completed an independent study research class. I studied and took the Graduate Record Examinations test. I selected my references well. I acquired a very high grade point average. I presented a poster at a national conference. Based on a creative research project, I won the social work department’s research award. I served on the National Association of Social Workers’ (NASW) board for our state. My advisor, who was an alumnus, stated I was a “shoo-in” to be admitted to the school.
Oh, the puzzle piece fits. Or so I thought. I was heartbroken when I received the rejection letter.
I had done everything I knew to do. After my pity party, I reflected on the formal and informal feedback I had received. It came down to this: I was not a good fit for the program. I desired to work on my clinical license while attending. The school discouraged me from working on it while earning my Ph.D. “That’s too difficult to do both.” The program also stated my research goals needed to correspond with one of the professor’s agenda. Evidently, it did not. I did not fit into the predetermined space. Ouch.
While working at a local hospital as a social worker addressing social determinants of health, I made time to scour the internet for all the doctorate programs in social work within the United States. I literally reviewed every Doctor of Social Work (DSW) and social work Ph.D. programs that I had become aware of during my search. Nothing fits pragmatically into my goals and dreams. Until one day.
I opened a monthly email from the NASW. I saw an advertisement about this place called The Institute of Clinical Social Work. “What is this?’ I thought. I checked into it. I reviewed the website. I checked the curriculum. I spoke with my former professors. Yes, this seems like a legitimate option. However, let’s see about the admission process.
I noticed on the school’s website that “personal therapy experience is not required as a prerequisite for admission, though such experience is favorably considered.” During my MSW program, we had been told, several times, about practicing ethically in our profession. One professor even showed us the disciplinary page of the state’s regulatory board. A lot of names appeared. I had been in personal therapy for several years because much of my own “stuff” came up when I started serving in the helping professions. And if my own “stuff” had not been addressed, the potential for hurting others existed. Though it was not a requirement for admission, the personal therapy experience was listed third under the minimum ones given. Hence, the school thought this was very important. Later, I learned these are my repressed issues within my unconscious which need to come to the conscious level so I may make healthier decisions. In other words, how can I give the clients I serve something that I do not have? How do I know what it is like being on “the other side of the desk?”
During one of my admission’s interviews, the professor talked about the need to complete several process recordings (or verbatim) during our clinical work. Would that be a problem? I said “no.” In previous training, I had completed several. They were growth producing for me and made me aware of several issues so I could be a better clinician. It was (and is) important for me to become more self-aware so I can be the best clinician possible. When I scoured the internet looking for schools, I did not notice this.
Again, during one of my interviews, the topic of research came up. What did I think of it? I stated I enjoyed research and worked on a qualitative study during my MSW program. The school, it was said, focuses on qualitative research. I preferred qualitative over quantitative. I prefer the depth rather than the breadth. I asked what kind of research I needed to do. Then I heard the words I never thought I would hear: “You can research whatever you want.” I did not have to prescribe to a predetermined agenda. I really wanted to let out a holler, but I did not think that was appropriate. At that time. In other words, again, what the school really told me is that it valued thinking. My own thinking. Wherever it took me. I was completely overjoyed. During my classes, I have been encouraged to think, to explore, and to make connections. Especially for the clients I serve.
Several other reasons exist why I chose ICSW. These stand out for me. Another reason stands out for me to confirm why I chose ICSW. At the end of a recent summer class, the professor stated several encouraging words to leave with us. Those words made an impact on me. Such as, “Don’t let anyone make you feel small.” “You are not less than.” “I want you to use your voice.” “You have what it takes.” “I hope this is a safe place to express your ideas.” Most of all, she said, “The world needs all of us to alleviate suffering in the world.” As I write this, tears fill my eyes knowing I do fit somewhere. More than that, the school is preparing me to help others pick up the puzzle pieces of their lives. To make them whole.
My dear reader, the world needs you, too.
Matthew Benorden, PhD student at ICSW